Finding Your Purpose

"We won't be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose." ~ Bob Goff

Each and every day we encounter moments that will truly define our life's purpose and character. In a world that ranks people based on perceived wealth, celebrates the size of a fancy home, or the number of sports cars one can drive, it's rather easy to get caught up in the comparison game. What must I do to reach the proverbial 'top'? Who can I beat down or chastise to receive the fame that others obtain? Unfortunately, the more we chase the 'top', the further away from our true life's purpose we fall.

I, like many others, spent far too long chasing money, fame, and materialism that I thought would define my life's purpose and meaning. I dreamt of having the big fancy house, a big fat pay check, and so many toys I wouldn't know which one to use next. I envisioned others looking up to me in jealousy of all that I had and who I was. Yet, the more I chased and the more I acquired, the further from myself I became. As I became unhappy with life, I thought I could solve everything on my own. My selfishness and pride destroyed everything I was and everything I thought I had.

God has a funny way of tapping us on the shoulder and pointing us back in the right direction. It was shortly after my separation and divorce that He knew I was lost. It didn't take long for me to realize the error of my ways and how disconnected from Him I had become. He quickly guided me to volunteer with myTEAM TRIUMPH. It was my saving grace - one of my life lines that I clung to on a weekly basis. I was searching for who I was and what my life's purpose was supposed to be.

A year and a half later with mTT and I feel like I have a direction, a purpose. I have met some incredibly amazing people on this short journey. Captains that have unique abilities to live each day of life to the fullest. Families that show support and love to one another through every struggle and triumph. Crew and Angels that go out of their way to bring hope and triumph to Captains that may have wondered if they would ever cross a finish line. A community of Angels that strives to raise awareness and bring inclusion to every endurance event in our communities. 

Through all the joy, tears, smiles, and triumphs, I have learned a great deal about who I am and what God's purpose is for me. 1 Peter 4, verse 10 reads, "God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another." (NLT) I am meant to be the hands and feet of God on Earth, to serve others in His name. He implores us to love one another with passion and grace. To extend His love to others through our actions and motives. 

Ironically, I've never found myself in this place of comfort and solitude. I don't pay attention to how much money I make or who notices the effort I put forth to serve others. My goal is no longer aiming to please myself or to fit it. I was made to stand out and serve a God that loves me despite my past, my faults, and my failures. To see the faces of triumph on those I serve is more than this Homeless Heart could ask for. And so I carry on with His purpose for me, seeking ways in which I can be His hands and feet. 

And I'm deeply aware that I'm deeply loved

By a love I could never deserve

And until the day comes when I'm finally home

I will ramble and wonder and search.

"Homeless Heart" ~ Sidewalk Prophets

Forgiving Yourself - Why is it so Hard?

It's easy to mask the pain and hurt that you feel deep inside - to cover up all the regret and shame you feel for the choices you once made. It's easy to find something to turn your attention to, momentarily forgetting the guilt that is building up. Like a storm rolling in, you never really can outrun the emotions that cause you to doubt everything you are. Eventually, time catches up to you and all the emotions you're trying to outrun take control of all you think you are.

Life has this funny way of constantly reminding you of the hurt you've caused others. Be it the 5-year old that walks back to mom, holding back his tears and hurt. Or the text message from a 9-year old that claims she misses you. The 11-year old that is home sick from school, stressed and worried about the future. Or the crazy and hectic schedule you've now created for others. No matter which way you turn, you can't help but see the hurt you've caused.

Even as those you hurt have forgiven you...have put the past behind them...and you try to be a better man today, you're left doubting all you've become. Will I be defined by the man I once was, or can I let go of my own past and live for today? Can I forgive myself of my own past, leaving behind my selfishness, pride, and mistakes? Where do I go and to whom do I turn when forgiving myself becomes so difficult?

The answer lies in Him! He has already forgiven me and made me new. He has provided a plan and a path that I must trust. He has placed amazing friends in my life that will build me up. He will use my talents to serve His purpose. He has heard my cry and He will heal me. He reminds me to be grateful for the opportunity to be a better dad, a better friend, and an amazing son of God. Rather than allowing myself to be filled with hurt and regret, seek the love and grace of God to see the moments as opportunities.

This means must practice three things daily, just as I would if I were training for an IronMan bike ride:

1. Give glory to God daily. Allow Him to be my rock and my salvation, going to Him with any worry, fear, doubt, shame, or guilt. Letting God heal my pain.
2. Surround myself with those that lift me up and allow me to be myself. Have a group of friends that hold me accountable for who I am and what I think of myself.
3. Be the best dad I can for today...no matter who I was in the past, I can be a better dad each day through letting me children know they are safe, beautiful, and loved. 

Above all, I must trust that I am redeemed and loved by God. That my past is dead and gone, and I can be a new man today for living my life according to His will.

'And I refuse your help

out of my own selfish pride,

Lord I have so many masks

to cover up and hide.

So I will pray to you right now
to take away my sin,

Come heal away my brokenness

and change this heart again.

Without you I am nothing,
but a weak and dying man,

So I will pray to your right now

Come change this heart again.'

~ Sidewalk Prophets, 'Change This Heart'

Team Tom - June Update

It's a dark and dreary Friday afternoon here in Green Bay, Wisconsin as I reflect upon the journey Team Tom has traveled since our last update (hard to believe it's been almost two months since that update). And as I look back at all the training, events, and relationship building that has occurred, I continue to be amazed at the impact Tom and his family have had on my life and my family. It's rather ironic how God implants people in our lives knowing full well His plan and purpose for doing so.

One of the greatest moments that has occurred over the past two months has come from the sharing of daily devotionals with Tom, Jana, and Zane. As we all explore God's mission and vision for us, we read and shared a devotional by Nick Vujicic (the man born with no arms and legs.) As we shared in our faith journeys and the opportunities we all had to share God's message, it hit me. We all have the ability to be His hands and feet by how we carry ourselves, by how we treat others, and by how we share our stories.

Ironically, I've probably learned the most from the youngest member of the family, Zane. While he can have an attitude like any teenager, his unselfish willingness to support both mom and dad is admirable. His uncanny ability to support Tom around the house, at events, and in the community set Zane apart from many teenagers his age. And while he learns to drive, his relentless pursuit of putting his family first shows the kind of parents he truly has. Not to mention his speed and endurance on a run course!

How do I know they've have an impact on who I am and how I look at the world? That's easy! As I was out for a run this morning, I noticed my mind seeing things differently around me. A car that was parked in a driveway across the sidewalk struck a nerve. How would Tom have managed to navigate the sidewalk, or even us tackle it together in a chair? Perhaps I've noticed their impact on me even more so in how I interact with and spend time with my own children. Rather than looking at the world around us with rose colored glasses, we take time to appreciate the abilities God has given us and share our talents with those less fortunate. I look forward to the moment I get to push Tom (or another Captain) with my children and make it a family experience, the same way Zane does with his parents.

Enough with the sappy testimonial! What have we been up to in May and June?

May started with the Door County Half-Marathon. A picturesque, beautiful day that saw lots of hills through Peninsula State Park. Tom and Jana both participated in the event as Zane provided support to myTEAM TRIUMPH and on the course. I (Cliff) ran as well and pushed the original Captain Mary. If you ever wonder if Tom and Jana enjoy these events, just look at the picture below for proof:

Next event in May was the Cellcom Marathon - yes a full marathon. The Three Amigos were paired up for the marathon and Cliff and Zane split up the responsibilities of the run course. Zane got off to a blazing start by pushing Tom for the first 6 miles of the run. Needless to say, Cliff wasn't expecting to see Zane that quickly. Nonetheless, Cliff took over for the next 16 miles of the run course. Using the new chair for the first time in an event, Tom managed to get comfortable for the long morning. Zane then met back up with Tom and Cliff at mile 22 and the Three Amigos finished strong. Jana also completed the full marathon with a first-time angel that ran the entire race solo. Yes, for those of you wondering, Jana and her Angel did complete the marathon faster than the Three Amigos.

The next couple of weeks saw lots of bike training, run training, and team bonding. Between Monday night rides to High Cliff State Park and a family bonding at Tom's mother's house, lots of fun was had preparing everyone for myTEAM TRIUMPH'S biggest event of the year - the Bellin Run. Not before Tom, Jana, and Zane participated in a 60-mile bike ride with fellow mTT Angels Chris S., Cory N., Dave B., and Missy W. A windy and overcast day gave Tom some much needed seat time in his chair to prepare for IronMan Wisconsin.

Which leads us back to last weekend and the Bellin Run. The original myTEAM TRIUMPH event saw Tom and Jana participate as 2 of the record breaking 42 captains. An almost perfect morning for running turned into a wonderful opportunity to share the message of mTT and inclusion with thousands of Green Bay citizens. The Three Amigos were back at the helms of Team Tom, pushing through a very quick pace for the 10K Bellin Run. Jana, pushed by her trainer and friend also enjoyed the heat and sun of the morning.

Perhaps the greatest moment came in the moments and days after the race. As the picture below depicts, this is what mTT is all about. This is quite possibly the most genuine and real smile I have ever seen from Tom thus far. The pure joy and excitement of the moment is what keeps me going, keeps me pushing through tough bike workouts knowing I am the hands and feet of God, providing Tom the opportunity experience this joy at every event and training!

Team Tom - April Update

While April may have come in like a lion and went out with a bang, it didn't stop Team Tom from continuing on this incredible journey. Whether it was the start of Bellin training runs, the first few bike rides, or meeting the team's marathon runner, God surely has blessed all of us with a great spirit, resolve, and faith.

While it may have taken the whole month of April to have the chance to meet Craig and his family, the wait was worth it. What turned out to be an incredible Saturday afternoon began with Craig experiencing his first ever Angel moment - pushing Tom for 5.5 miles in the chair. While Craig learned the tactics of maneuvering the chair and handling corners, Cliff and Zane rang along side to support the group on the run. We all knew we were in for a joyful and humorous ride when the first question that Craig asked of Tom on the run was, "Tom, how much do you weigh?" If you know Tom, he played right along into Craig's question and was sure to give him a little crap. The rest of the afternoon was full of families getting to know each other, delicious food, and the sharing of stories - particularly of Tom and Jana's coming together.

Speaking of Jana, she has been slowly recovering from a mouth surgery that happened in early April. While she was beginning to find her groove in the pool, she needed to take a short break to heal. After the rest, she was quickly back meeting with a swim coach and planning away on how to successfully accomplish the 2.4 mile swim. Throw in a parachute to pull in the water, a flipper, and hand fins and Jana has been working hard. She continues to push herself both in the pool, at Pilates, and on both the hand cycle and leg cycle - what an inspiration.

Cliff and Tom begin their bike training in late April due to the snow-magedon that fell upon Wisconsin. Tackling 15.2 miles on their first ride, Tom was quick to compliment Cliff on the sun shade he provided while on the ride. Only a week later did Tom decide to take Cliff and Zane on a ride up the infamous High Cliff hill. And while we only had one close in losing Tom back down the hill, the ride sure allowed the three amigos (or perhaps three stooges) the opportunity to take in all of God's beauty and nature...don't believe us? Just look at this view...still smiles after 21 miles and 1 hour and 45 minutes of biking!

And did we forget to mention that we trained as a group for the Door County Half Marathon? What was an absolute gorgeous Sunday morning made for some great training for Tom, Jana, and fellow Captain Jenny... 9.5 miles of hilly terrain through the city of Kewaunee which sits nestled on the shores of Lake Michigan. A great training run to prepare the teams for this Saturday's Door County Half Marathon (May 5th, 2018) - be sure to watch Facebook for live video updates, or check out our blog next week for a race recap.

Interested in supporting Team Tom on their journey to IronMan Wisconsin? Click on the 'Donate to Team Tom' link on near the top of our blog to donate and support our work!

Until next week, continue to passionately pursue your dreams!

20 Weeks and Counting...

As we've all been patiently waiting for Spring to arrive in Wisconsin, Team Tom has been eagerly planning and preparing for a fun and challenging summer. After all, IronMan Wisconsin is only 20 weeks away. While the summer schedule quickly filled up, Tom, Jana, Craig, and Cliff look forward to the challenges that lie ahead in preparation for this amazing day.

Tom, Jana, and Cliff had the opportunity to meet over lasagna to discuss and plan the summer schedule. Between laughter, comedy, and story telling, a plan was finally put in to place and excitement continued to build. Now if only mother nature would cooperate and provide some safe running conditions for all of myTEAM TRIUMPH.

The first race of the season will include a half-marathon through the hills of beautiful Door County on May 5th. Cliff will push Tom through the 13.1 mile hilly terrain, trying to keep his legs under him. While normally training for the bike, Cliff enjoys a long-distance run to shake things up. Jana will also enjoy a ride through the half-marathon race, while their son Zane will most likely bike along for moral support.

While the opportunity to formally train together outside has been minimal at best, Jana and Zane have been busy in the pool. Having recently met with fellow myTEAM TRIUMPH Angel and Swim Coach Barb Kolitsch (a veteran of the IronMan swim), Jana was quickly filled with excitement at having a training plan and regimen that would help her meet her goals. Not only did Jana get an evaluation of her swim technique, Zane also enjoyed the comforts of Barb's lap pool in her heated garage. 

"We had a great time this week continuing our preparation for Ironman 2018 with Barb Kolitsch, mTT Swim Coach. Zane had the chance to get some pointers too," shared Jana on her Facebook account. 

They also wait in anticipation of meeting their runner for IronMan, Craig Braun. A busy family man himself, Craig can be seen in southern Wisconsin promoting his company, Lighthouse, and their own schedule of events. 

As they continue to wait patiently to get the bike and trailer out on the road, they wait knowing they will enjoy the moments and the journey. They look forward to spending more time together, getting to know their families, and seeing how far they can push themselves to share in Tom's journey of becoming an IronMan. Just at Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (NIV) For when then work together, encourage each other, push each other, and laugh with each other, they realize they are part of something larger than themselves. 

#RunLikeAngels

Fear Is a Liar

Each and every day we are faced with an important decision - get out of bed and face the day or stay tucked under the covers and hope the challenges away. For most of us, we decide to plop one foot on the floor, then the other, and attempt to tackle the day ahead. While our mind may play tricks on us, telling us the day is going to be too difficult, there will be people we don't want to see, or there's no way possible you can accomplish all of that, we must cast aside the fear of failure and be determined to become all we choose to be.

As we continue to embark our IronMan journey, undoubtedly we will face many moments of fear. As a team, we faced one of those moments yesterday as the news of Summer's knee injury continuing to linger rose to the surface. This news, which will prevent her from completing the marathon portion of our race, was saddening indeed. While fear of ever running again has set in for Summer, I can imagine fear set in for Captain Tom as well. Will he still get the chance to become an IronMan? Who might replace Summer? Will they fit in with the team? It's not easy to just go and find someone that is willing to run 26.2 miles. And while any one of us could let fear take over and control our emotions, we managed to support one another through laughter, confidence, and faith.

I really shouldn't be surprised by this reaction though. I have seen the same from countless Captains from myTEAM TRIUMPH, as well as the leadership group of this amazing organization. I have no doubt Christian already has a plan in mind, a person or two in mind, and will support our team and Captain Tom every step of the way! After all, he's been nothing but supportive and motivating through the training and planning thus far.

Training for the events of the IronMan can be daunting and fearful all on their own. Early morning rides, strength training sessions, swimming sessions, long runs, and planning the summer event list. Some might look at the demand, work, and dedication needed and decide to run the other direction. Ironically, I'm starting to enjoy the training and work required to be able to bike 112 miles around Madison. Waking up at 4:30 am isn't as daunting anymore. It's become a lot easier and something I actually look forward to.

Jana continues to push herself in the pool, reluctant to allow anything to hold her back. She eagerly awaits a formal training plan that will push her to max capacity and prepare her body for a grueling 2.4 mile swim. Tom has even joined in on the training by strengthening his core and using his stand up chair more frequently. Their son Zane continues to support his parents in this adventure, swimming with Jana and assisting Tom when he is able. Pretty darn courageous for a teenager that probably has lots on his mind.

No matter how you look at it, this team is beginning to make progress and starting to gel. We are determined to not let fear define us. We will all endure pain in some way on this journey. We will choose to wake up the each day and ask for more, what's next?. We are aware this opportunity will not only build a life-long friendship, it will help each one of us identify who we are, what we believe in, and that fear is a liar!

(Fear Is A Liar - By: Zach Williams)

Define Your Ability

We all encounter moments of doubt, fear, shame, or darkness. We have all wondered how do I overcome this hurdle? What we fail to recognize or remember is that we were created to be more than those moments. These moments do not define our limitations or destination. Rather, they should help us be determined and focused to define our own abilities.

While I continue to ramp up training for IronMan Wisconsin, I continue to be amazed and inspired by the stories of many Captains from myTEAM TRIUMPH. Whether it's in the form of 10 Captains attending a training run on a Wednesday night, or Captain Pancakes sharing his story with local clubs and organizations, or hearing about Captain Ian impressing the ladies at St. Norbert College - I continue to realize that in my moments of doubt or fear I can overcome anything and rise above because they have. 

This past Wednesday I had the opportunity to train 'officially' with Captain Tom and Captain/Angel Jana for the first time. While it was a shorter run, it provided a great time to share and talk about life, training, and IronMan Wisconsin. I was impressed to hear that Tom continues to share his story on many different avenues. For a guy that really likes to plan, he seems to have a place on the stage for sharing his struggles and triumphs.

While training can be grueling and early mornings tough to get up, I continue to be inspired by Jana's drive and passion to be better. I don't think there has been a day in two weeks where I haven't received a text from Jana with a training update. Now I know why Tom described her as the competitive one - I have no doubt in my mind she could swim the 2.4 miles tomorrow if she needed to.

What they both may not know, nor get to see, is that they help to motivate me to get up early in the morning, climb mountains on my bike virtually, run after work, and choose to eat healthier. They both continue to show me that anything is possible if you put your mind to it, don't give up, and persist to rise above the doubt! 

"So rise

Breaking the dark, piercing the night

You're made to shine

An army of hope

Bringing the world

A radiant light

A radiant light

You were made to rise, rise"

~ Danny Gokey, "Rise"

And The Journey Begins

This past weekend kicked off the start of the myTEAM TRIUMPH season. The Night of Triumph Gala saw Captains of all abilities from all over the state come together to be celebrated. From a Red Carpet entrance full of cheers and unique introductions, to food, laughter, and dancing, the night had something for everyone! It was most definitely a great way to greet and kick off the 2018 season.

Perhaps making the evening more special was the special announcement that I was grateful to be a part of. myTEAM TRIUMPH has a great history with the IronMan race organization. And this year, I am honored to be part of a team that will help Captain Tom become an IronMan. To say Tom was surprised by the news would be an understatement...Tom didn't quite know how to respond and did his best to hold his emotions in check in front of a crowd of 200.

Tom G., an mTT Board Member and Captain, loving husband and father, is an engineer by trade. The engineer in Tom quickly went into planning mode, trying to figure out how all of this was even possible and going to work for a whole day in Madison, Wisconsin. As the dust settled and Tom could appreciate the moment (the next day of course), he quickly became filled with excitement and anticipation. And who wouldn't, he's going to become an IronMan.

Who's on Tom's team and will be helping him complete the amazing journey? Let's start with the swim leg. The swimmer that will be pulling Tom aught to be very familiar with who he is and what he likes...Jana S. - Tom's wife of 10 years. Jana, whom is usually a Captain with mTT, is changing it up for IronMan Wisconsin and becoming an Angel. Jana will pull Tom 2.4 miles in the open waters of Lake Monona. Once a very competitive swimmer, Jana will be working hard to conquer the swim course.

Tackling the tough terrain of the bike course with Tom is myself, Cliff G. A Northeast Region Crew member for mTT, Cliff has been eagerly biking most of the winter indoors. After giving Zwift a try with mTT Director Christian J., Cliff has been hooked at improving his cycling endurance. A new friend and face for Tom and Jana alike, the group seemed to hit it off planning away the summer during a recent mTT Conference in Green Bay. Cliff and Tom will spend many hours together this summer as they prepare for the hills of the Verona and Mt. Herob area outside of Madison, riding a total of 112 miles by bike.

The anchor leg of the day and the marathon run belong to Tom's long-time friend Summer E. According to Tom, Summer is responsible for encouraging Tom to hop into one of the mTT chairs and enjoy the feeling of freedom that came along with the run/ride. Summer, former Fox Valley Leader and now board member has been involved with myTEAM TRIUMPH for many years. The friendship between Tom, Jana, and Summer is very strong, evident by the long, heartfelt embrace at the conference. Summer will continue to train from the Fox Valley region and push both Tom and Jana on this journey.

This spring and summer will bring about many opportunities to train and create a bond that will go much deeper than any could imagine. Add in Tom and Jana's son Zane into the training plan and lots of fun will be had by all. As the group begins planning their training and event line up, be sure to check back regularly for updates, biographies, and progress. Thanks for joining us on this amazing journey. 

#RunLikeAngels

Let The Season Begin

The state of Wisconsin has a weird way of toying with your mind. One week, you think Spring is right around the corner as 30-40 degree weather gives you a glimmer of hope to hit the open road on a training run or bike ride. Only to be quickly reminded that Winter in Wisconsin never seems to go away. The relentless chill in the air, combined with perpetual snow that blankets the tough terrain make for a long indoor training season!

This past Saturday was no exception. Many Northeast Wisconsin athletes took to the roads of De Pere to participate in the 14th annual Seroogy's Valentines Run. What was a chilly morning start turned into a wonderfully sunny and motivating day. Roughly 1,100 participants started the 8 am run at approximately 8 degrees (450-15k and 650-5k). And the course did not disappoint.

While it only took 2-3 miles to finally warm up and get blood flowing down to my toes, the road conditions were nearly perfect. A quick run through De Pere's St. Norbert Abbey trail lead to a long and winding run to Green Aisle park. With many spectators along the way, the run was peaceful, sunny, and challenging.

I set out with two goals for this first race of the season. Goal #1 - finish the race without having walked at all. A pretty ambitious goal given the longest distance I had ran all off-season was 6 miles, and the longest duration 45 minutes. Despite the formation of a nasty blister on my right foot, I can happily say I accomplished my first goal - NO WALKING. Goal #2 - finish the race in under 90 minutes. This was a bit more of a lofty goal. Anyone that has followed my blog, or knows me, knows that I do not know what it means to run slow! Yet, each time I wanted to rest or saw another pace guide pass me, I quickly reminded myself that goal #1 was more important - FINISH.

I decided early on I wasn't going to check my phone for my time until I finished. It was the first race of the season and I didn't want to become disappointed. Low and behold, I crossed the finish line 81 minutes and 2 seconds...an 8:45 per mile pace. While perhaps a bit slower than my normal mid-season pace, I was really quite ecstatic about finishing in under 90 minutes. My legs were burning and my blister was ready to pop.

While running, I was often reminded of why this sport is such an inspiring and motivational endeavor. Spectators cheering for all athletes, young children holding their hands out in anticipation of a high-five, fellow athletes providing words of encouragement, local law enforcement stopping traffic, race volunteers cheering you on, and the endless support and excitement at the finish. Where else do you find all of these components at a sporting event? Where else can you feel so included no matter what your ability level, speed, or skill? The running and triathlon circuit is such an inspiring place for anyone to feel accomplished, no matter what goals they set!

The Only Disability in Life is....

Why do so many feel the need to make fun of or judge others? What is it about pointing out the differences in others that makes one feel better? Perhaps we ought to heed conventional wisdom and put the shoe on the other foot. We cannot quite imagine the trials and tribulations individuals have encountered to get where they are in life. How might I know? Let me share with you the story of Jessica Goodacre - my sister.

Born in October of 1989, the youngest of three children in her family, Jessi came out of the womb kicking and screaming. Little did we know that little bundle of spit fire was just beginning a journey of a life time in and out of doctor's offices and surgeries. To me and my brother, 8 and 5 years elder respectively, she looked like any 'normal' baby - little, crying, and soaking up mom's and dad's attention. It wasn't until she was unwrapped from the cloths that we could finally see the worry everyone else seemed to be whispering about.

"What's wrong with her foot?" I wondered to myself. My parents did their best to describe that Jessi was born with a club foot....and a pretty severe case at that. Rather than her foot and toes pointing straight forward like normal, Jessi's were turned at almost 45-degrees inward. Doctor's felt if they could get her into a cast quickly, they might be able to help. Six days after birth, Jessi endured her first of many casts - a daily change for several weeks.

We should have known that Jessi was going to have a mind of her own. One of the funniest memories I have of her infancy and spunk was the moment she kicked off her cast in her crib. While a bit scary at first, thinking she lost her foot, this strong little girl just wanted the darn cast off. It should have been a sign of the grit and determination she has today! 

Eight months after birth, Jessi endured her first surgery. What was supposed to be a simple, 30-minute procedure, turned into 6 hours of reconstruction. The doctors nearly severed an artery instead of a ligament. It was a trying time for my parents, yet Jessi came out wanting more...okay, wanting might be an exaggeration. Over the course of her life, Jessi has enduring 21 foot surgeries and 2 knee surgeries. All to help alleviate the pain or an attempt to correct the damage of the club foot. 

What I didn't realize as I was growing up with Jessi, but have a much better understanding and awareness of today, was the constant struggle she dealt with in feeling 'different' from everyone else. My brother and I were quick, active and athletic. We bounced from sport-to-sport from season-to-season without much thought. Jessi on the other hand had all she could do to keep pace - actually catch up. You see, my brother and I were determined to help her walk. 

She spent months in a brace supporting her surgically repaired foot. A foot that was two and a half sizes smaller than her 'good' foot. She stumbled around, doing her best to stay upright. One spring break, when she was a little over one, my brother and I took it upon ourselves to force her to walk. Well, walk might be an understatement. I sat on one side of the room, my brother Bill on the other side about ten feet away. Originally, we just tried to hold her up and let her take a few steps without much luck. We were growing frustrated...we just wanted her to walk, to be normal. Half an hour later, we began pushing her back and forth, slowly at first, Eventually, we gave her enough momentum that she was walking all on her own. We were so proud of ourselves.

Growing up with a club foot, Jessi tried to do as much as she could. She desperately wanted to play basketball with her friends, but struggled to keep up on the court. She was a good softball player, but could not move swiftly enough to play the field or run the bases. Her foot would start to ache and cause unbearable pain. She 'stood out' as being different from the other girls on the teams. She tried participating in the local 'Fun Run', but would often come in last or not finish at all. At the age of 14, she was diagnosed with arthritis in her foot and her knee. 

Even the simplest of tasks, such as buying new shoes was a struggle for Jessi. One pair never worked - it was always buying two pairs. Throw in the need for supportive shoes, you could cross off most of the 'pretty' or catchy shoes. At one point, her 'good' foot was an adult size, and her 'bad' foot was a child's size. Imagine trying to find matching shoes for that! Going in to high school, she was even granted a waiver from physical education classes that were difficult on her foot, per her doctor. Yet, many teachers struggled with honoring that request. Jessi stood out for all the wrong reasons.

The visual awareness of her club foot is still persistent today. Her one leg is longer than the other, one foot still bigger than the other, and a calf muscle that is severely smaller - causing Jessi to walk with a limp. There are days she can barely walk, and running or exercising is not an option. As an adult, Jessi has struggled keeping up with her friends on a walk or out shopping. Playing in an adult volleyball and softball league is essentially impossible. Participating in a 5K or run/walk is painful. She cannot run around, chasing her nieces and nephews. She still needs to buy two pairs of comfy shoes to fit each of her feet, which still eliminates the 'cool' shoes as she would say. Yet, she is a fully functioning adult in our community and does not let her foot define her.

Reflecting now, I probably wasn't the most supportive of her needs and recognizing her amazing abilities she did have. You see, Jessi is an amazing writer and has a knack for singing. She can express herself very eloquently with words. Her poems are beautiful and inspirational at the same time. She's quick witted and spunky. 

Organizations like myTEAM TRIUMPH didn't exist in the late 90's to help Jessi feel included. There weren't opportunities for her to share her message and show others she didn't have a disability...she just has a different ability. An ability to make kids laugh. The ability to love pets. The ability to write and sing. The ability to play the piano. The ability to be an amazing aunt. All of these abilities she has, yet many choose to define her by what they see.

She works tirelessly as a shift leader at Taco Bell. She volunteers at her local church as a teacher. She's always willing to watch the pets of friends. She goes out of her way to make others feel included and of value. Honestly, I admire who she is and what she's gone through - I'm not sure I would have been able to do the same.

Perhaps this is why I believe in myTEAM TRIUMPH so much. Perhaps it's because of the struggles I witnessed my sister endure and only now realize she shouldn't have had to. I want others to be aware that what we see isn't always what we get. There is so much more to an individual when we take the time to get to know them...to truly understand who they are, what they are capable of, and how we can help them. That if we take the time to help others feel included, we truly are serving a greater purpose. 

As for Jessi, I probably haven't told her enough how much I admire her determination, her selfless actions, and her grit. I love you Squirt! Thank you for inspiring me to look at everyone with a different lens. 

Cycling for a Cause

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart!" ~ Helen Keller

There are certain times in our lives that seem to stand out more than others. Times in which we feel blessed to be part of a greater good, supporting a cause or individual. On January 19th and 20th, I had the opportunity to participate in and support a team that is taking their show to the Boston Marathon. The 24-Hour Cycling Challenge, held at McWilliams Training, brought cycling enthusiasts of all levels together to spin the night and day away.

The night started out fast and furious with 8 riders hitting the course hard. Between music blaring, disco lights flashing, wheel of mystery spins, and drinks handed out to riders, the laughter and comrade were contagious. I caught myself chasing down a 10-year old, and falling far behind a seasoned veteran of cycling. Yet, the spirit and motivation in the room rose as Captain Jacob walked in, jar full of Oreos in hand.

Captain Jacob, along with his Angel Brian McWilliams, are the duo that qualified for the Boston Marathon - one of a handful of teams that met the qualifying time and were granted entrance - the reason for this fundraiser and cycling challenge event. To be able to meet and talk with the family of the young man this fundraiser was supporting provided all the motivation one would need.

When all was said and done, over 2,100 miles were biked in those 24-hours and roughly 5K raised to support an amazing cause and team. A very special thank you to all those myTEAM TRIUMPH Angels that signed up and took their turn at the wheel. And to Eric Johnson, June Matzke, Christian Jensen, and Brian McWilliams for putting on such a wonderful event and after party.

I continue to be amazed at the mission and vision of myTEAM TRIUMPH and the inclusion of all athletes in racing. What better way to share with your kids how each and every one of us was created in the image of God. While we may have different appearances, at the end of the day we all want to feel included and loved. I would say Jacob made a huge difference in the lives of my three kids that night, and he probably doesn't even know. Thank you Deb and Jeff Vandenberg, and Jacob for making all of us feel included in your journey to Boston!

#OwnYourDestiny 

Going Strong

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." ~African Proverb

Such a subtle, yet powerful quote...especially in the world of triathlon training, endurance sports, and community involvement. Perhaps this illustrates why I choose to blog and share as I continue to ramp up my training for a Half-Ironman Triathlon in June. And as I feel the transformation slowly happen, I know I will need to continue to reach out and seek additional support - mentally, physically, and nutritionally.

The past two weeks, training has ramped up in intensity and frequency. Between early morning swims with late night bike rides, and interval training runs, my body is slowly starting to transform. My legs aren't as tired, my arms aren't as sore, and the riding position continues to become more comfortable. 

I know the road is long and far. With that, I realize I will start to make friendships with groups and clubs that support swimming, biking, and running. Groups that will head out on early morning runs or rides. Groups that share tips and strategies for race preparation and nutrition. I am excited to continue to make connections and share along the journey.

One part of those connections start tonight in a 24-Hour Cycling Challenge...no I will not be riding for 24 hours straight. We have a team that will ride for 24 hours, taking turns at the spoke. All to continue supporting myTeam Triumph and the inclusion of all athletes. (Watch my Facebook feed for pictures and updates.) 

Finally, I was reminded by a friend recently that you should not train for an Iron Man of any length in hopes of losing weight. It will happen as a natural bi-product of training. Yet,  you need to nourish your body and fuel your muscles a lot. As the training continues to become more intense, I will need to take in more fuel. As he stated, 'Don't be afraid to eat.' Good - because I love to eat.

#OwnYourDestiny #GodIsGood

Using Good Eyes

As 2017 was setting sail, and 2018 was rising upon the eastern horizon, a great storm was brewing within. There is no doubt that 2017 was a trying and humbling year. It certainly didn't help that a nagging injury continued to cause delays in training and my mental mindset. As I begin to reflect and look back, getting ready to say my good bye to a year filled with regret, turmoil, life changes, and selfishness, it was a sermon from a guest pastor that helped me to change my lenses.

It has always been easy to look back with 'bad eyes', spotting all that had gone wrong or opportunities you might wish you could do over. I guess that's why the saying hindsight is always 20/20 rings so true. You pinpoint those exact moments that you wish didn't exist or where the outcome would have been different. These 'bad eyes' can cause you to lose focus on outcomes that existed because of these moments - outcomes that may be good or bad.

I am as guilty as the next. I could choose to look back at my 2017 and focus on that went wrong, or even what I would change. Yet, would I be here today, blogging about my experiences with myTeam Triumph, sharing God's love with others, and finding my passion in teaching and coaching. It was time to put on my 'good eyes' and thank those people who helped to support me and allow me to be where I am today.

Today I am thankful that I still have the ability to wake up and make a difference in the lives of those around me. To be a father to three amazing children that inspire me to be unselfish, humble, and grace-filled every day. The opportunity to be a better friend to those I wronged or lost touch with. To encourage them to live each day to the fullest. I am thankful that I can still train and support myTeam Triumph with my time and talents.

My challenge to all of us is to wake up every day and put on your 'good eyes'. If you don't feel like training, think about the good that can come of it, not the pain or tired you might feel. If you encounter someone with a bad attitude, help to shed a light of hope on a dark situation. Give back of your time and talents somehow each and every day. Wake up with a hope of optimism for the day you have been given. And if you dare, train a little harder each and every moment.