Why do so many feel the need to make fun of or judge others? What is it about pointing out the differences in others that makes one feel better? Perhaps we ought to heed conventional wisdom and put the shoe on the other foot. We cannot quite imagine the trials and tribulations individuals have encountered to get where they are in life. How might I know? Let me share with you the story of Jessica Goodacre - my sister.
Born in October of 1989, the youngest of three children in her family, Jessi came out of the womb kicking and screaming. Little did we know that little bundle of spit fire was just beginning a journey of a life time in and out of doctor's offices and surgeries. To me and my brother, 8 and 5 years elder respectively, she looked like any 'normal' baby - little, crying, and soaking up mom's and dad's attention. It wasn't until she was unwrapped from the cloths that we could finally see the worry everyone else seemed to be whispering about.
"What's wrong with her foot?" I wondered to myself. My parents did their best to describe that Jessi was born with a club foot....and a pretty severe case at that. Rather than her foot and toes pointing straight forward like normal, Jessi's were turned at almost 45-degrees inward. Doctor's felt if they could get her into a cast quickly, they might be able to help. Six days after birth, Jessi endured her first of many casts - a daily change for several weeks.
We should have known that Jessi was going to have a mind of her own. One of the funniest memories I have of her infancy and spunk was the moment she kicked off her cast in her crib. While a bit scary at first, thinking she lost her foot, this strong little girl just wanted the darn cast off. It should have been a sign of the grit and determination she has today!
Eight months after birth, Jessi endured her first surgery. What was supposed to be a simple, 30-minute procedure, turned into 6 hours of reconstruction. The doctors nearly severed an artery instead of a ligament. It was a trying time for my parents, yet Jessi came out wanting more...okay, wanting might be an exaggeration. Over the course of her life, Jessi has enduring 21 foot surgeries and 2 knee surgeries. All to help alleviate the pain or an attempt to correct the damage of the club foot.
What I didn't realize as I was growing up with Jessi, but have a much better understanding and awareness of today, was the constant struggle she dealt with in feeling 'different' from everyone else. My brother and I were quick, active and athletic. We bounced from sport-to-sport from season-to-season without much thought. Jessi on the other hand had all she could do to keep pace - actually catch up. You see, my brother and I were determined to help her walk.
She spent months in a brace supporting her surgically repaired foot. A foot that was two and a half sizes smaller than her 'good' foot. She stumbled around, doing her best to stay upright. One spring break, when she was a little over one, my brother and I took it upon ourselves to force her to walk. Well, walk might be an understatement. I sat on one side of the room, my brother Bill on the other side about ten feet away. Originally, we just tried to hold her up and let her take a few steps without much luck. We were growing frustrated...we just wanted her to walk, to be normal. Half an hour later, we began pushing her back and forth, slowly at first, Eventually, we gave her enough momentum that she was walking all on her own. We were so proud of ourselves.
Growing up with a club foot, Jessi tried to do as much as she could. She desperately wanted to play basketball with her friends, but struggled to keep up on the court. She was a good softball player, but could not move swiftly enough to play the field or run the bases. Her foot would start to ache and cause unbearable pain. She 'stood out' as being different from the other girls on the teams. She tried participating in the local 'Fun Run', but would often come in last or not finish at all. At the age of 14, she was diagnosed with arthritis in her foot and her knee.
Even the simplest of tasks, such as buying new shoes was a struggle for Jessi. One pair never worked - it was always buying two pairs. Throw in the need for supportive shoes, you could cross off most of the 'pretty' or catchy shoes. At one point, her 'good' foot was an adult size, and her 'bad' foot was a child's size. Imagine trying to find matching shoes for that! Going in to high school, she was even granted a waiver from physical education classes that were difficult on her foot, per her doctor. Yet, many teachers struggled with honoring that request. Jessi stood out for all the wrong reasons.
The visual awareness of her club foot is still persistent today. Her one leg is longer than the other, one foot still bigger than the other, and a calf muscle that is severely smaller - causing Jessi to walk with a limp. There are days she can barely walk, and running or exercising is not an option. As an adult, Jessi has struggled keeping up with her friends on a walk or out shopping. Playing in an adult volleyball and softball league is essentially impossible. Participating in a 5K or run/walk is painful. She cannot run around, chasing her nieces and nephews. She still needs to buy two pairs of comfy shoes to fit each of her feet, which still eliminates the 'cool' shoes as she would say. Yet, she is a fully functioning adult in our community and does not let her foot define her.
Reflecting now, I probably wasn't the most supportive of her needs and recognizing her amazing abilities she did have. You see, Jessi is an amazing writer and has a knack for singing. She can express herself very eloquently with words. Her poems are beautiful and inspirational at the same time. She's quick witted and spunky.
Organizations like myTEAM TRIUMPH didn't exist in the late 90's to help Jessi feel included. There weren't opportunities for her to share her message and show others she didn't have a disability...she just has a different ability. An ability to make kids laugh. The ability to love pets. The ability to write and sing. The ability to play the piano. The ability to be an amazing aunt. All of these abilities she has, yet many choose to define her by what they see.
She works tirelessly as a shift leader at Taco Bell. She volunteers at her local church as a teacher. She's always willing to watch the pets of friends. She goes out of her way to make others feel included and of value. Honestly, I admire who she is and what she's gone through - I'm not sure I would have been able to do the same.
Perhaps this is why I believe in myTEAM TRIUMPH so much. Perhaps it's because of the struggles I witnessed my sister endure and only now realize she shouldn't have had to. I want others to be aware that what we see isn't always what we get. There is so much more to an individual when we take the time to get to know them...to truly understand who they are, what they are capable of, and how we can help them. That if we take the time to help others feel included, we truly are serving a greater purpose.
As for Jessi, I probably haven't told her enough how much I admire her determination, her selfless actions, and her grit. I love you Squirt! Thank you for inspiring me to look at everyone with a different lens.
